New drinkers generally fall into two categories:
1. 19-year-olds who enjoy Macro-lagers
2. 21-year-olds who have enjoyed macro-lagers since they were 19.
The female variety can be observed in warmer climates thusly:
While the male variant can usually be found thusly:
When you begin to blaze your trail away from the macros, keep in mind that beer is at its essence food. The macros exist as cocktails (which is perfectly fine), but the beers you enjoy as you leave your bong-addressing years will help you toward drinking success by giving you the nourishment you need to grow.
In the meantime, stop trying to be an expert on beer, and stop trying to be cute by liking PBR.
Remember this (as next week’s Banjo will focus on it fully): There IS such a thing as a free lunch, but you need to make the switch to REAL beer to know how (and where) to find it.